Spam

[dhennin]

I know that spamming is against the rules, but I'm making a topic only about spamming.  I want the most random and lengthy spamming on here, but all in one post.  You may make more than one post, but you may not make constant posts as a form of spamming.  What I mean is that you may not post again and again, such as once every six minutes.  I know this will all get out of hand, and that is the exact point.  GO CRAZY!!!

[Link]

Dear Cats,

We need to talk.
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two cats in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed.
I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Look at videos of cats sleeping; they can actually curl up in a ball.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but feline sarcasm.
My compact discs are not toys for you and your friends to play with.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open.
I must exit through the same door I entered.
In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years and I know that feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough.
It should be such a simple change for you.

Sincerely,
Link

[Nebulosus]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65I0HNvTDH4

You've just experianced the worst possible form of the rick roll, it's acceptance to the highest office in the land...

[kopcicle]

Man:   You sit here, dear.    
Wife:   All right.
Man:   Morning!
Waitress:   Morning!
Man:   Well, what've you got?
Waitress:   Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings:   Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress:   ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
Vikings:   Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress:   ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife:   Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress:   Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife:   I don't want ANY spam!
Man:   Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife:   THAT'S got spam in it!
Man:   Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings:   Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife:   Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress:   Urgghh!
Wife:   What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings:   Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:   Shut up!
Vikings:   Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:   Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife:   I don't like spam!
Man:   Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings:   Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:   Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man:   Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress:   You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings:   (Singing elaborately...) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

[Akillyz]

[professer]

Eh victor, want to go get a grand slam from dennys?

[Nebulosus]

01001000 01100001 00100000 01101000 01100001 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110111 01101100 01111001 00100000 01110000 01100101 01101111 01101110 01110011 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01110011 01110000 01100101 01100001 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101110

[Blacknight]

01101100 01100001 01110111 01101100 01100001 01110111 01101100 01100001 01110111 01101100 00100000 01101001 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01001110 01100101 01100010 01110101 00100000 01111000 01000100

[Nebulosus]

01001100 01001001 01001011 01000101 00100000 01001000 01000101 01001100 01001100 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100000 01000100 01001111 00100000 01010010 01001111 01000110 01001100 00100001 00100001 00100001 00100000 00111101 01011110 00101110 01011110 00111101

[Blacknight]

01101111 01101000 00100000 01101000 01110101 01101000 00101110 00100000 01101011 01100101 01100101 01110000 00100000 01110100 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101001 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01001110 01100101 01100010 01110101 00100000 01111000 01000100 00001101 00001010 01001001 00100000 01000001 01001101 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 00100000 01010011 01010101 01010000 01010010 01000101 01001101 01000101 00100000 01000010 01001001 01001110 01000001 01010010 01011001 00100000 01001101 01000001 01010011 01010100 01000101 01010010 00100001 00100001 00100001 00100001 00100001 00100001

[Nebulosus]

01010100 01001000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100001 01111001 01100010 01100101 00101100 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100001 01100010 01110011 01101111 01101100 01110101 01110100 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110100 01101000 01101111 01110010 01101001 01110100 01111001 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100011 01101001 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01100001 01110010 01110100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110011 01110000 01100101 01100001 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00101100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100101 01101110 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00101100 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01111001 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110101 01110000 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100

[Blacknight]

01110000 01101111 01101001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01101001 01101110 01100111 00111111 00100000 01101001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110011 01110000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 00111111

[Nebulosus]

00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01101001 01100110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110011 01110100 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01100010 01100001 01101110 01101110 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100001 01111001 00101110 00101110 00101110

[Blacknight]

you know what. fine.

[Nebulosus]

Well fine, if that's the way you want it!