Corrupt a wish!

[Samurai Girl]

No wish granted,

I wish that my parents will leave my Gothic Lolita dress alone. 

[tsigma6]

Granted, but creepy old men will stalk you because of it.

I wish my brother could never speak again.

[Samurai Girl]

Granted, you missed your brother's voice

I wish that my parents will stop using myself suffering from hydrophobia as an excuse not to stop me from learning swimming.

[Blacknight]

Granted, but you develop acrophobia

I wish I had a 100% working, non flawed in anyway time machine

[tsigma6]

Granted, but you lose the instructions.

I wish for the money to pay for college.

[Floodclaw]

Granted, but you're going to the worst college in the world, and none of the classes you want are available.

I wish that I would stop eating spicy foods. They're so tasy, but so hurtful... D;

[tsigma6]

Granted, but you develop Lactose Intolerance.

I wish for a new computer.

[Samurai Girl]

Granted, a notorious hacker hacks into your new computer.

I wish that I can speed type faster.

[Corey]

Granted, but you type so fast you develop bruises on the end of your fingertips and cant type at all!

I wish tight leather pants were still in style.

[tsigma6]

(Why?)
Granted, but you have an allergy to Leather.

I wish that Mother 3 would be released in America.

[Floodclaw]

Granted, but only one copy is released, and it is priced at approximately $600.

I wish that every male I see starts wearing their pants properly, and not around their thighs. I just don't get what's so appealing about having half your underwear showing.

[Link]

Wish granted, but now you think about whether they're actually wearing underwear or not...

I wish I had lots of nice kittehs to keep me company at all times.

[Floodclaw]

Granted, but the kittehs are mean-spirited and sit on your face while you sleep, and then eat your various limbs if you try to move.

I wish I had some watermelon.

[Samurai Girl]

Granted, the watermelon is rotten.

I wish that I am allowed to learn swimming

[Corey]

You get eaten by a shark at your local community center's pool.

I wish that I could think of something to wish for.